Because the author in this short comic was saying the same things that my wife does and because her husband says the same things that I do, I suddenly realized that I could no longer attribute some of my wife’s criticisms to her distinct personality and sense of responsibility. And I couldn’t say that my being ready to help was actually helping.
I never saw that caring about, managing and organizing the work of a household was an actual task in and of itself, but I can no longer deny it.
I’m a bit ashamed, because it’s so obvious to me that organizing and planning a list of well-written software development stories is labor (quite aside from executing them). I didn’t make the leap to where I might see it applying to household management.
This is why my mother complained, why my partner complains, and why unless I set a better example, my own daughter will learn that she should be resigned to it in her future relationship.
Executing tasks around the home doesn’t actually help as much as taking responsibility for assembling, scheduling, and keeping track of them. That is the hidden work that I have not been raised to see and it will be a ongoing challenge to remind myself of that.